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From: Jazzman401@aol.com
 Tip That Waitress
 Loudon Wainwright III
 C            
 She's been on her feet nearly half the damn night
 Am
 Bringing you beverage and your late night bite
 F
 She remains cheerful when you're nasty and tight
 G
 Makes change for a fifty in dim candlelight.
 C
 Ignoring your groping hoping you might
 Am                                                    F  G
 Come across with a tip and sympathize with her plight.
          C
 Tip that waitress.
 
 Shes getting her masters supporting her mom
 Amidst the confusion she remains cool and calm
 She knows exits in case of a fire or bomb
 She knows all the words to the 23rd psalm
 She handles her tray with panache and aplomb
 Her brothers a Quaker, her dad was in Naa-aaa-aaa-aam
 Tip that waitress.
 
 Bridge 1
 Em
 Tip that waitress,
           C
 She's been waiting on you.
 Em
 Skip the small change,
              G
 Slap down a dollar or two.
 
 Her arches are aching, her lower backs shot
 Her varicose vein hurts like hell when its hot
 Her uniform's too tight, tasteful its not
 She knows the specials and they are not a lot.
 The cook is on Qualudes the bus boy deals pot
 If she had a real job she'd quit on the spot
 So tip that waitress.
 
 
 
 This plea for gratuity's gone on way too long,
 Theres a time and a place where them things belong
 The stage ain't a soap box, this is only a song,
 To dwell on the matter much more would be wrong.
 And people get by, she'll get along
 But I think she gets off when I come on
 Stro--ooo-ooo- ong
 So tip that waitress.
 
 Bridge 2 
 Tip that waitress,
 She's been waiting on you.
 Skip the small change,
 Slap down a fiver or two.
 
 She's been on her feet nearly half the damn night
 Bringing you beverage and your late night bite
 She remains cheerful when you're nasty and tight
 Makes change for a fifty in dim candlelight.
 Ignoring your groping hoping you might
 Come across with a tip and sympathize with her plight.
 Tip that waitress.